Letting Go

I am just coming off of a few fun days up in Northern Michigan where I enjoyed time with my mom, kiddos and hubby doing vacation type things, not thinking too much of what was waiting for me when I came home. And then I went to church this morning. I did not actually attend “our” church that my husband and I serve at but rather our “old” church, from where we moved. It was there that the reality of what was coming set in. The irony in all this, is that the message today was on worship. How worship changes us, changes us more into His image. Worshipping via music is probably my most favorite way to worship God. I get lost in the music and presence of His Spirit, but today my mind began to think about my circumstances, and then we sang Hillsong’s “Forever Reign” and these lines jumped out at me


You are peace You are peace
When my fear is crippling
You are true You are true
Even in my wandering
You are joy You are joy
You're the reason that I sing


That is truth. Those words, they are truth. And then the Lord in His goodness reminded me through a vision, how He sees us, how He sees me. I saw Jesus surrounded by children, His arms wide open and it reminded me of the account in Matthew 19:13,14 where people were bringing their children to Jesus to lay hands on and pray, and His disciples in their humanness thought that He was too busy to be bothered with children (it was a cultural thing, all though we see today, we haven’t drifted too far off with abortion on demand, but that’s another post) As I watched the vision unfold, I felt His heart for me and for all who are called by His name as His children. We strive and we fight and we fail trying to succeed at being His followers, but at the end of the day He asks us to come to Him like little children, with the faith they have, knowing and believing that He is our daddy and that when we have a problem, He is more than able to fix it. And that is hard in our frail humanity to grasp because so many of us had fathers we could not rely on or trust to fix the broken things in our lives, but He is not like our earthly dads, He is perfect and we can trust Him fully with our hearts, our weaknesses, our frailty and our circumstances, because He is the King of Kings and He holds all of creation in the palm of His hands.


So you’d think after that awesome experience I would be all set, but I would be lying right now if I told you that secretly, in my heart and in my head, I am trying not to totally freak out. The spiritual oppressiveness of the city in which I live, coupled with the task of packing, purging and praying in housing before the end of an incredibly busy month for us, is pressing in on me from every which way. And if I am not careful, my heart and my mind run wild in fear and frenzy, neither of which is listed in the fruit of the Spirit description.


And as I sat doing dishes tonight, contemplating what lies ahead, another stanza from the song goes coursing through my mind and my heart :


You are here You are here
In Your presence I'm made whole
You are God You are God
Of all else I'm letting go


It’s time for me to let go, fully and embrace Him, and allow my heart to sing no other name but the Name of Jesus. Not the name of fear, or frenzy or finance, but Jesus. It is true, in His presence I am made whole and I can truly let go. I do not have to figure it out, because He says to trust Him, He says that in my weakness His strength is made perfect, that I can do all things through Him who gives me strength, that when the wind and the waves come crashing in He still speaks peace, that He is the rock that I can run to and be saved, that He is higher than I.


In Matthew 8 during a huge storm Jesus says the following to His disciples, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. Sometimes we forget, sometimes we need the reminder, that we need to have faith. That our hope and our worship is in One far greater than us. And when we turn our eyes from our circumstances, self and a host of other things, to Him who sits on the throne, everything changes, including us. When we worship in spite of our feelings and thoughts, we are transformed more into His likeness and image, and our faith grows.


My encouragement and challenge to you today is this, worship even when it’s hard. Surrender, even when you don’t want to, and remember, first and foremost you are His child, created in His image and He loves you more than you ever feel you are worth.


Learning daily,
Your sister in Christ.

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