Remembering To Count It All Joy

Things are CRA-ZAY in my household these days. Between moving (again), a 13 month old who has discovered he likes to climb, a four year who insists on the fact that because he is four he can basically do whatever he wants, being pregnant and informed I must reduce stress (did I mention my midwife has ordered another ultrasound due to some concern?) , being tired (ok exhausted), and a month of non stop commitments, this momma has basically lost it a thousand times over.


And today, truly was a breaking point for me, literally. I mean, BREAK.DOWN. Between the concern about my pregnancy, my four year old’s out bursts, a house that is in chaos as I try to pack without “over doing it”, a million phone calls regarding our move and financial burdens, I lost it, into a torrent of crying, yelling and crying again.


The irony in all this, is that I just came off an amazing weekend of ministry from the Lord at a mini get-a-way, in which I truly felt like He was showing me things, preparing me, teaching me, and then bam, all out the window in one afternoon. I seem to have forgotten the things He shared, that there is a war going on, that because of the places He is taking me and my family, that we will be facing opposition. That the battle I am facing with my four year old is far beyond this earthly realm, it’s a spiritual battle for the destiny and the heart of my child. That this little girl I am carrying in my womb is a part of His divine plan, and that with her birth, I will experience an outpouring of the Lord’s love, grace and mercy that I have never before experienced. That we truly do not war against flesh and blood but against principalities and darkness, yes our own flesh gets in the way, and choices yield consequences, but that usually in the midst of chaos there is a very real spiritual battle that we are facing.


The reminder came tonight through another blog, with a post about motherhood, but it wasn't so much the words this author penned, but the scripture she reference, “that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance produces character and character produces hope and hope does not disappoint.” This scripture is out of Romans 5:3-5, but it triggered in me another scripture that I read recently out of the book of James, the book that I have chosen to study. Slowly. Verse by verse, diving deep so that I may understand. The scripture is James 1:2-4 “[2] Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, [3] because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. [4] Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. “


These two scriptures hold key principles and reminders to me, to us, that it’s about our hearts, it is about our response verses our reaction. That we must remember to rejoice in the Lord always, to persevere through fire, that the seasons of trial and testing show us where our faith and trust truly lies. That if we empty ourselves and yield, that a faith proved of more worth than gold will be revealed. Rather than “freak out”, we should “faith out”.  That the goal in the end is to be mature, not lacking anything in Him.  That He is our hope, and He does.not.disappoint.


And I forgot all this, in an instant, I forgot. I forgot that I made a commitment to be a member of the “sisterhood of the empty quiver”, meaning that I was going to lay all my resources, my strength, my gifts in His hand so that His grace, and His strength would be made perfect and revealed. That I would no longer have a “plan B”, that there would be “God margin” in my life, which would allow Him to do what only He can do. That my faith and my works were going to unite with His power and His provision, because in and of myself, I've got nothing.


It’s so easy friends to lose focus, to allow circumstances, or our own problem solving capabilities to get in the way of an opportunity for the Lord to move and to grow us and shape us in His image. It’s easy to forget that we are to be “counting it all joy when…….”


My challenge to you is this, let go of the reigns and control. Yes He has equipped you and called you, but the moment you rely on your gifts rather than Him, you are entering dangerous territory.


Reminding myself as well to count it all joy, to empty myself and to let go and to lean into Him,
Your sister in Christ



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